The Confessions of a Single Mother

Some days are great, some are not so great, and the majority of the time I'm just going through the motions. Usually I have the greatest intentions to do what would be considered "best" then my patience is worn thin and I end up yelling.

I know consistency is key. Be consistent with punishments and rewards, consistent when establishing boundaries, consistency gives birth to predictability and children need to be able to predict things. They need to predict that when you say "no" you mean it, when you say "later" it means later and not "never", and when you say "I love you" it's real and followed up by a kiss, hug, or some form of affection…………………even if you are wiping their tears. But geeeezzeee I'm not even consistent with how many times I hit the snooze button on the alarm in the morning, let alone my behavior towards the seed. I want to be consistent with reading a story every night before bed, consistent with going to the park……………………..but………………..I'm not. I'll read a book today, but tomorrow evening is a different story. Sometimes I don't feel like it, sometimes he works my last nerve (poor nerve, it's been worked quite a bit) and I just want to send him to bed, sometimes this, sometimes that…….. So does that make me a bad mom, NO an inconsistent one but not bad…….But I sure do feel bad about it sometimes.

But let's face it parents are nothing more than people………….people who procreated. So if you are screwed up prior to being a parent, more times than most you are gonna be screwed up as a parent. Don't get me wrong some people change completely when they become a parent, that's awesome, but I believe them to be the exception to the rule. I've noticed that prior to being a parent I was so impatient, spontaneous, and quite moody…………….now as a parent, guess what?!? I'm still impatient, spontaneous, and moody. This is because that's who I am………….I'm wired that way. I try so hard to not be so impatient with my son, but I am. Is that bad? Probably not? But it feels bad sometimes, because I'm constantly told I need to have patience………………………so I've concluded that I don't need to try to be the model parent, but I need to accept my limitations and try to work around them.

Relationship vs exclusively dating

Is there a difference between exclusively dating and a relationship?  I guess it depends on your definition of dating.............defining dating is just as difficult as defining love.....every person will have their own definition.

If dating is getting to know someone to see if there could potentially be a relationship in the future...............this could be done with more than one person.  Actually, dating is probably best when there are multiple people.  That way you don't get all caught up in one person.....

Dating does not equate with sex.....you can date many people and be sleeping with none, one, or all....

Then exclusively dating means just seeing one person, to see if there is potential for a relationship.....but how is exclusively dating different from the relationship? What is done differently or isn't important when you're exclusively dating versus being in a relationship? Aren't the expectations the same? Actually exclusively dating is like a mini relationship, like a trial run to see if this will work or not.......provides you with an out, so when you find out 3 months down the line the s/he has a hidden drug addiction, you can just leave and say "well we weren't together anyway!"

There may be subtle differences that are hard to verbalize, I guess.....like there are subtle differences when two people have been together for forever, been cohabitation for forever, then they finally get married............despite all the legal ramifications, there still are subtle differences in the relationship........

So when I'm exclusively dating a guy, is it wrong for me to allow another man to take me out? Why? we're just dating, I don't have a commitment..........and so if he finds out and gets mad, what? Do we break up? No cause we're not in a relationship, do we just stop "dating?"........

Also, what do I say to someone who approaches me and has interest in me and asks "are you single?"

Essentially I am but what do I say? ".................ummmm I'm seeing someone? I'm dating someone?" but I am still single.................if I'm gonna take myself off the market, it'll be for something...........but exclusively dating isn't enough............

*note to self, don't exclusively date!