Yo mental illness is real! And we should really want people to get help.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The Adventures of Dating ME!
I have finally allowed the youngin' to take me out this weekend........after much hesitation!
We'll see..............
We'll see..............
The Adventures of Dating ME!
It is never okay for you to live with your mama and not have a car!
sigh...........
Please, please, please, have the three C's
Career (or job)
Car
Crib
sigh...........
Please, please, please, have the three C's
Career (or job)
Car
Crib
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
A moment of silence.....
I live in Maryland and work in DC. So to cut my commute time and cost down I drive and park on the street and then catch a bus to the job. For the past two months when I get off the bus to get into my car after work I am greeted by a warm and friendly gentleman by the name of Mel.
Mel initiated conversation by introducing himself and asking what my name was. Our meetings were usually brief but pleasant. One day he asked if he could take me out, and I explained to him that I was seeing someone. He began to explain that he didn't want anything but to spend some time and see me smile. He still wanted to know if he could maybe take me to dinner or something. I told him I would let him know.
Yet and still every day after work he would be sitting on the stoop at his relatives house waiting for me to get off work. He would remind me that he wanted to take me to dinner and that he was still waiting for my reply. He would also remind me that I was beautiful and that the person I am seeing better be treating me right.
As time went by I started to know more and more about Mel. He spoke of his daughter, his job, his life, his goals, and dreams. He would always inquire about my day at work, how my son was, and make sure that I was happy.
About a month ago Mel greeted me with his arm in a sling, I inquired about what happened. He explained that he had a seizure and broke his arm. He mentioned that he never had a seizure before. He went on to tell me that he was in the process of suing Howard Medical Center because when he arrived there they treated his arm but not his seizure. Mel stated that because he never had a seizure before and has no diagnosis of a seizure disorder the hospital should have given him some medication to treat the seizure because "I could have a seizure in my sleep and die". We would joke about him winning his lawsuit and going on a trip somewhere first class, sippin on champagne! LOL
About two weeks ago I finally allowed Mel to take me out. We just grabbed a bite to eat before I was due to pick up my son from daycare. This became a regular practice since then.
On Wednesday 04/08/09 while we were conversing I told Mel that I had these yellow shoes I couldn't wait to wear with this yellow dress. Mel said that he wanted to see me in the dress and shoes, so he wanted to pay for me to get my nails and toes done on Friday 04/10/09.
So Friday comes we both leave work early, however, traffic was not on our side. By the time we meet up it's too late to sit at the nail shop, so he gives me money to get my nails done and tells me he wants to see my "pretty toes" on Monday.
Friday night I went out of town to Hampton University to visit some sorority sisters. We spoke, I wished him a early "Happy Birthday" (His birthday was on Easter Sunday and his 2 year old daughter was scheduled to be dedicated to the Lord that day as well). Saturday he called me and I was at the nail shop getting my nails done, he said he wanted to see me when I returned and to call him when I got back to Maryland..............
That was the last we spoke..........
Monday after work I wondered why I didn't see him to show of my nice pedicured feet.
Today, Tuesday, as I am waiting for the bus to go into work and one of Mel's friends approaches me and says "you know Mel right?"
I said "Yeah, (with a super big smile on my face)"
He said "You know he passed right?"
I said "WHAT? No I didn't, when?"
He said "He passed on Sunday"
I said "What happened?"
He said "He had a seizure in his sleep and died!"
WTF, WTF, WTF, WTF........................... He died on Easter Sunday, his birthday!
I've been so sad, crying, and feeling so angry! I keep seeing his smiling face, and hearing his voice and all I can think about is "He never got to see my 'pretty toes'"
So a moment of silence for my friend MEL!
Peace Homie!
Mel initiated conversation by introducing himself and asking what my name was. Our meetings were usually brief but pleasant. One day he asked if he could take me out, and I explained to him that I was seeing someone. He began to explain that he didn't want anything but to spend some time and see me smile. He still wanted to know if he could maybe take me to dinner or something. I told him I would let him know.
Yet and still every day after work he would be sitting on the stoop at his relatives house waiting for me to get off work. He would remind me that he wanted to take me to dinner and that he was still waiting for my reply. He would also remind me that I was beautiful and that the person I am seeing better be treating me right.
As time went by I started to know more and more about Mel. He spoke of his daughter, his job, his life, his goals, and dreams. He would always inquire about my day at work, how my son was, and make sure that I was happy.
About a month ago Mel greeted me with his arm in a sling, I inquired about what happened. He explained that he had a seizure and broke his arm. He mentioned that he never had a seizure before. He went on to tell me that he was in the process of suing Howard Medical Center because when he arrived there they treated his arm but not his seizure. Mel stated that because he never had a seizure before and has no diagnosis of a seizure disorder the hospital should have given him some medication to treat the seizure because "I could have a seizure in my sleep and die". We would joke about him winning his lawsuit and going on a trip somewhere first class, sippin on champagne! LOL
About two weeks ago I finally allowed Mel to take me out. We just grabbed a bite to eat before I was due to pick up my son from daycare. This became a regular practice since then.
On Wednesday 04/08/09 while we were conversing I told Mel that I had these yellow shoes I couldn't wait to wear with this yellow dress. Mel said that he wanted to see me in the dress and shoes, so he wanted to pay for me to get my nails and toes done on Friday 04/10/09.
So Friday comes we both leave work early, however, traffic was not on our side. By the time we meet up it's too late to sit at the nail shop, so he gives me money to get my nails done and tells me he wants to see my "pretty toes" on Monday.
Friday night I went out of town to Hampton University to visit some sorority sisters. We spoke, I wished him a early "Happy Birthday" (His birthday was on Easter Sunday and his 2 year old daughter was scheduled to be dedicated to the Lord that day as well). Saturday he called me and I was at the nail shop getting my nails done, he said he wanted to see me when I returned and to call him when I got back to Maryland..............
That was the last we spoke..........
Monday after work I wondered why I didn't see him to show of my nice pedicured feet.
Today, Tuesday, as I am waiting for the bus to go into work and one of Mel's friends approaches me and says "you know Mel right?"
I said "Yeah, (with a super big smile on my face)"
He said "You know he passed right?"
I said "WHAT? No I didn't, when?"
He said "He passed on Sunday"
I said "What happened?"
He said "He had a seizure in his sleep and died!"
WTF, WTF, WTF, WTF........................... He died on Easter Sunday, his birthday!
I've been so sad, crying, and feeling so angry! I keep seeing his smiling face, and hearing his voice and all I can think about is "He never got to see my 'pretty toes'"
So a moment of silence for my friend MEL!
Peace Homie!
Monday, April 13, 2009
The adventures of dating ME!
It's officially Spring! I feel like singing "I'm coming out.....I want the world to know...."
I'm coming out of this winter sweater wearing, coat covering, boots to my knees rocking state and I'm showing skin, toes, and cleavage........ahhhhh....
my comfort zone.......
Moving to the DC metro area from Las Vegas, NV is a big change. I mean all my shoes are open toe, all my clothes are short, showing skin, strap-less, back-less, or some "-less" and I finally can shimmy into them.
Now some things are a little tight on ya girl, cause she gained a few pounds since moving here. But if you read my previous blog, I'm trying to do something about that!
So anyway with the degrees going higher and the days lasting longer I am excited and ready to break out of my shell.
I mean this is chocolate city, and I love chocolate, so I'm ready to dive in and see what I can see!
In saying all that, I ready to get my flirt on, my date on, and my grown woman on! I've already began to do a little in the winter, but nothing substantial.
I'm ready to meet a three piece suit wearing, career havin', head on shoulders, grown ASS man! I am not 19 anymore I am tired of playin with boys!
So stay tuned as I chronicle my dating life, without puttin all the bid-ness out there!
So let's begin.........Of course when I first got here I ran into "boys" I even entertained myself with a couple, but I knew from jump street that this was very temporary, just to pass the time and possibly learn the city.
So recently I met a "man" ya'll a real man..........has a career, not into anything illegal (thank God, do you know that it is hard to find a man not into illegal activities), is smart (we have stimulating convo), and makes me laugh! WOW right...
So we hung out for the first time this weekend, it was very brief, but nice. He was such a gentleman! We'll see what happens next!
I'm coming out of this winter sweater wearing, coat covering, boots to my knees rocking state and I'm showing skin, toes, and cleavage........ahhhhh....
my comfort zone.......
Moving to the DC metro area from Las Vegas, NV is a big change. I mean all my shoes are open toe, all my clothes are short, showing skin, strap-less, back-less, or some "-less" and I finally can shimmy into them.
Now some things are a little tight on ya girl, cause she gained a few pounds since moving here. But if you read my previous blog, I'm trying to do something about that!
So anyway with the degrees going higher and the days lasting longer I am excited and ready to break out of my shell.
I mean this is chocolate city, and I love chocolate, so I'm ready to dive in and see what I can see!
In saying all that, I ready to get my flirt on, my date on, and my grown woman on! I've already began to do a little in the winter, but nothing substantial.
I'm ready to meet a three piece suit wearing, career havin', head on shoulders, grown ASS man! I am not 19 anymore I am tired of playin with boys!
So stay tuned as I chronicle my dating life, without puttin all the bid-ness out there!
So let's begin.........Of course when I first got here I ran into "boys" I even entertained myself with a couple, but I knew from jump street that this was very temporary, just to pass the time and possibly learn the city.
So recently I met a "man" ya'll a real man..........has a career, not into anything illegal (thank God, do you know that it is hard to find a man not into illegal activities), is smart (we have stimulating convo), and makes me laugh! WOW right...
So we hung out for the first time this weekend, it was very brief, but nice. He was such a gentleman! We'll see what happens next!
A new Day
I am constantly trying to reinvent myself. Every other week I try to make myself "new and improved." Anyway I want to shed a couple of pounds to look even more fabulous in the summer. Today is the first day of my eating "lifestyle change." We all know diets are a temporary fix. Change isn't lasting unless you change the way you think/behave. So you can diet it up, drop down to a single digit size, but soon as you go back to doing things the way you used to, then you get back to where you used to be.
So I'm trying some new things out. I'm trying to cut back on my carb intake. I love breads, pastas, rice, and all the other shit that turns to sugar in your body. So I'm working on cutting that back, making my portion sizes smaller and eating more often. I usually binge eat, eat very little all day, then throw down at 9pm. Or not eat too much for a couple of days, then go to town on food, so my body has no clue what's going on and I am sure I have slowed my metabolism.
When a woman gets to be 30 her metabolism slows down drastically anyway. So I have 2years to get it together. I need to get my ass in shape!
So far so good, I'm excited about this new change and I hope that it will be a lasting change. Let me get down to a single digit size........oh boy there will be trouble! Trouble! Trouble!
I figure losing a good 30lbs will do me right! Wish me luck, and I'll keep you posted!
So I'm trying some new things out. I'm trying to cut back on my carb intake. I love breads, pastas, rice, and all the other shit that turns to sugar in your body. So I'm working on cutting that back, making my portion sizes smaller and eating more often. I usually binge eat, eat very little all day, then throw down at 9pm. Or not eat too much for a couple of days, then go to town on food, so my body has no clue what's going on and I am sure I have slowed my metabolism.
When a woman gets to be 30 her metabolism slows down drastically anyway. So I have 2years to get it together. I need to get my ass in shape!
So far so good, I'm excited about this new change and I hope that it will be a lasting change. Let me get down to a single digit size........oh boy there will be trouble! Trouble! Trouble!
I figure losing a good 30lbs will do me right! Wish me luck, and I'll keep you posted!
Friday, April 3, 2009
How about a slice of Humble Pie?
Some recent events that have occured in my life and those around me has me really grateful that I live my life the way I do. We are responsible for all of our actions and how those actions affect others. Usually we are only concerned with our present actions, and disregard our past ones. I mean it was in the past. But sometimes the Karma train doesn't run on time and we get slapped in the face with our concequences waaaaaay later in the future.
I will admit that when unfortunate things happen to me I ponder "what did I do in the past to deserve this" Usually I find something, and I say "Well I guess that's what I get for........." I'm not closed minded though. I do believe that sometimes things happen not because of something I've done but becuase of something else. I tend to believe that there are no accidents. Things happen for a reason. And sometimes that reason is just to teach us a lesson and sometimes the lesson isn't for us but maybe for someone else. Sometimes it takes a major unfortunate event for us to learn an important lesson. For example.....maybe your home gets invaded, for you to learn to LOCK YOUR DAMN DOOR! I'm just saying.
So let me tell you a story about how important it is to treat people well.....
Guy meets Girl
Guy and Girl begin to talk
Guy and Girl begin to like each other
they develop a routine of speaking daily, "good morning" text messages and phone calls (I love those)
and yep Guy and Girl even begin to have relations!
Guy seems a bit selfish, he states that it is a result of past relationships
Girl hopes that things will be different, after all she isn't selfish
Girl begins to show Guy that she is really there for him, she's really on his team, desires to be first string
Guy is really digging girl, is considering her for a starting position
Girl comes through for Guy when he needs her, shows him rather than tells him how she feels for/about him
Guy still displays some selfish, petty, behavior
Girl starts to think this isn't going to work
Girl decides to tell Guy to kick rocks, she can't deal with the selfishness
Guy realizes that Girl is worth keeping and is feeling like he may need to change things to get her back
Guy pleads with Girl to give "them" another chance
Girl agrees
They continue on their journey, however, Guy is still just as selfish and petty
Girl feels like she's constantly doing things and not getting any reciprocity
Yesterday Guy has committed a fatal relationship act
That's it Girl is done, it's a wrap, as a matter of fact Girl has choosen to cease all communication with Guy. She feels he has used her as his toilet long enough
She can do bad all by herself
Today Guy finds out that some of his past actions in Jan 08 have caught up to him and now the pigs have a warrant for his arrest.
Oh no! Guy now is trying to apologize to Girl, get back in her good graces so in case he has to go away for a while, he'll have a pen pal and someone to hold him down.
Girl accepts his apology but refuses to write or visit. Will not see Guy before he turns himself in or nothing...............
What a dummie right? I mean he totally shitted on her yesterday and now he regrets that. But the damage is done now, no way to unwind what has been wound.
Now this guy is a friend of mine, but in this situation I can not side with him. I've seen the way he has treated, not only her, but other people. And now that he's in a bind, he's trying to cross the bridges that he's burned. It's too late now.
I've totally taken HIS lesson to heart. I started looking back and examining the way I've treated people. Truthfully I don't ever want to be in his position or feel what he is feeling. I mean I haven't done any criminal activity so it's not like I'll be sitting in a cell or anything. But I just don't want Karma to slap my ass in the face like that.
I keep thinking that if he would've never did what he did yesterday then he would have someone there by his side while he navigates through this tumultuous time.
The moral of the story boys and girls:
TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED BECUASE ONE DAY YOU MIGHT REGRET HOW YOU HAVE TREATED SOMEONE.
I will admit that when unfortunate things happen to me I ponder "what did I do in the past to deserve this" Usually I find something, and I say "Well I guess that's what I get for........." I'm not closed minded though. I do believe that sometimes things happen not because of something I've done but becuase of something else. I tend to believe that there are no accidents. Things happen for a reason. And sometimes that reason is just to teach us a lesson and sometimes the lesson isn't for us but maybe for someone else. Sometimes it takes a major unfortunate event for us to learn an important lesson. For example.....maybe your home gets invaded, for you to learn to LOCK YOUR DAMN DOOR! I'm just saying.
So let me tell you a story about how important it is to treat people well.....
Guy meets Girl
Guy and Girl begin to talk
Guy and Girl begin to like each other
they develop a routine of speaking daily, "good morning" text messages and phone calls (I love those)
and yep Guy and Girl even begin to have relations!
Guy seems a bit selfish, he states that it is a result of past relationships
Girl hopes that things will be different, after all she isn't selfish
Girl begins to show Guy that she is really there for him, she's really on his team, desires to be first string
Guy is really digging girl, is considering her for a starting position
Girl comes through for Guy when he needs her, shows him rather than tells him how she feels for/about him
Guy still displays some selfish, petty, behavior
Girl starts to think this isn't going to work
Girl decides to tell Guy to kick rocks, she can't deal with the selfishness
Guy realizes that Girl is worth keeping and is feeling like he may need to change things to get her back
Guy pleads with Girl to give "them" another chance
Girl agrees
They continue on their journey, however, Guy is still just as selfish and petty
Girl feels like she's constantly doing things and not getting any reciprocity
Yesterday Guy has committed a fatal relationship act
That's it Girl is done, it's a wrap, as a matter of fact Girl has choosen to cease all communication with Guy. She feels he has used her as his toilet long enough
She can do bad all by herself
Today Guy finds out that some of his past actions in Jan 08 have caught up to him and now the pigs have a warrant for his arrest.
Oh no! Guy now is trying to apologize to Girl, get back in her good graces so in case he has to go away for a while, he'll have a pen pal and someone to hold him down.
Girl accepts his apology but refuses to write or visit. Will not see Guy before he turns himself in or nothing...............
What a dummie right? I mean he totally shitted on her yesterday and now he regrets that. But the damage is done now, no way to unwind what has been wound.
Now this guy is a friend of mine, but in this situation I can not side with him. I've seen the way he has treated, not only her, but other people. And now that he's in a bind, he's trying to cross the bridges that he's burned. It's too late now.
I've totally taken HIS lesson to heart. I started looking back and examining the way I've treated people. Truthfully I don't ever want to be in his position or feel what he is feeling. I mean I haven't done any criminal activity so it's not like I'll be sitting in a cell or anything. But I just don't want Karma to slap my ass in the face like that.
I keep thinking that if he would've never did what he did yesterday then he would have someone there by his side while he navigates through this tumultuous time.
The moral of the story boys and girls:
TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED BECUASE ONE DAY YOU MIGHT REGRET HOW YOU HAVE TREATED SOMEONE.
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