Parenthood

Geeeeeze, parenting can really be the pits sometimes. God designed child rearing for two people for a reason. One person can do it, but it is definitely a two person gig. Like building a house, one man can surely build a home. However, that job is designed for a team to complete it. So even though one person can accomplish it alone. When done with a team, the project outcome is a little better. It would not take as long, maybe the structure would be more sound, etc, etc.



So here I am performing this two person job solo, and sometimes the burdens are overwhelming. Not having that immediate person to turn to and relieve you of your shift kind of sucks.



Two weeks ago I reached my limit and fell apart. Like a pressure cooker, the stress and frustration I was feeling finally caught up to me. And BAM! I've fallen apart and lie broken on the floor at my wits end.



So in my panic time of need, I said some things, felt like doing some things, so I reached out to my crew to get support. Well things didn't go as planned there. I reached out to some friends that were not parents, but I didn't think that mattered. Anyway, instead of lifting me up I kind of felt like the kicked me while I was down.



What I was feeling was real, and two of my crew members made me feel like it wasn't. I was told that I was being a brat, and I needed to grow up, just the most unsupported things. Then at some time they (non-parents) told me (parent) that this is what parenting is about" WTF........



I lost it at this point! How the hell you gonna tell me what parenting is about? I live the shit everyday, I KNOW WHAT IT'S ABOUT. Welcome to the ugly side of parenthood.



Needless to say, things didn't work out well there. So when I finally reached out to my crew members that either are parents or work with kids on a daily basis they understood completely how I felt. Offered a lending hand, helpful advice, or simply just listened and empathized. Exactly what I needed.



So the lesson I learned this day is that I can't really talk to my non-parent friends about my parenting woes, because they just won't understand. You don't really know about it until you become one. And no growing up with a younger sibling, or even being a parentified child doesn't count. I grew up with a sibling 9 years my junior, was a parentified child, even babysat as a profession in my younger days. I had no clue of the journey parenthood would take me on.



I remember when I was without child and had friends who were parents. I had this view of how things were or an opinion on how to "parent" being so naive I would lend my advise, as if I knew anything. Understandably so, it wasn't taken very well, in fact friendships were terminated as a result. And I don't fault them at all, I was hurting more than helping. I couldn't see it that way of course, but now I realize that's what I was doing.

So my important lesson to take away from this even is to be mindful of who I am talking to about my parenting difficulties. When in doubt call a friend with children!